For A Smile

The time leading up to, during and even after your divorce can be very stressful. Every aspect of your life is changed during these times. Don't be suprised if you lose your sense of humor. Fear not, you will get it back. To help you get it back we have included this page.

If any of the jokes offend anybody, we apologize, for that is not our intent. We try to be gender balanced in our humor and there is enough material to make fun of both sides. "Laughter is the best medicine" so read on and keep things light.

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife." - Submitted by Lois Misiewicz

Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked. - Submitted by Lois Misiewicz

Marriage is a three ring circus. An engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffer-ring.- Submitted by Brian Seabold

Marriage,five minutes to get in and a lifetime to get out of. - Submitted by cabriloboy

The difference between a girlfriend and a wife is about 100 pounds. - Submitted by cabriloboy

A dietitian was addressing a large audience in Chicago: "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous to some and none of us realize the long term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" A 75 year old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake." - Submitted by Lois Misiewicz

My wife told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends. - Submitted anonymously

How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done for free. - Submitted anonymously

A cop tries to pull over a guy for speeding who tries to outrun him. Finally the guy gives up and pulls over. The now PO'd cop walks up and yells at the guy, "What's the big idea?" The guy responds, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop," he said, "and I was afraid he was trying to give her back!" "Off you go," said the officer. - Submitted by Jim Hercules

"My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't". - Submitted anonymously

The inherent downside in a life of pursuing women is the possibility of inadvertently catching one. - Submitted anonymously